#2 - I am responsible for my own spiritual growth.
This is a BIG lesson for all associate pastors to learn – worship pastors, youth pastors, children’s pastors, etc. Having been raised in the church all my life, I often got caught up in thinking that it was my pastor’s job to feed me; my pastor’s job to grow me; my pastor’s job to see to it that I stayed “fat and happy.” Over the past five years, I’ve realized that the responsibility of growth lies with one person, and one person alone: ME. We never find in Scripture that our “fearless leaders” are supposed to spoon-feed us; instead, they are supposed to equip us for the “works of the ministry.” So what, exactly, does this mean? Here are a few truths I’ve had to learn….most of them the hard way:
- There are a lot of things my pastor and my team can “cover” me on, but spending my personal time with God is NOT one of them. And don’t fool yourself; people know when you’ve been with the Lord and when you haven’t. Your talent and past experience can only take you so far…
- Self-leadership is a necessity. I’ve trained myself to search for resources on my own; not wait around for someone to hand me a good book. In this age of information, a lack of self-leadership is inexcusable.
- If you find yourself constantly looking for compliments and kudos from those above you, you’re on your way to burnout….fast. My pastor is a wonderful, Holy Spirit-filled man, but he will tell you himself that encouragement is not high on his list of spiritual gifts! While this was a big adjustment for me (having been raised in the most affirming environment on the planet), I learned quickly that I find my significance, my identity and my security in Christ and Christ alone. If my aim is to please Jesus and make Him proud, I will inevitably please my leadership.
- Church and ministry work DO NOT replace my time with the Lord. This is really tough, believe it or not. When you’ve worked at the church all day with “God’s people” doing “God’s work” and talking about God all day long, it’s easy to excuse your way out of just being with Him. As my roommate in college once told me, “Never let the urgent rob you of the important.” While you may deal with ministry emergencies and urgent issues on a daily basis, the most important thing you can do is follow Ephesians 5:18 – “Be filled with the Spirit.” (Translation: “Be [being; continually] filled with the Spirit.”)
Please remember that these are all truths that I’ve had to learn by experience. There have been many times that it would have been easy to cast blame for my stagnation or excuse it away. But when it comes down to it, if I’m not growing, I’m dying, and there’s no one to blame except the one looking back at me in the mirror every morning….no matter how good she’s always been at “passing the buck.”
