Live to Worship…Worship to Live

I was listening to a message today by one of my favorite speakers  and he asked this question: Are you living in history or destiny? I had to ponder that for a minute. He went on to point to the story of Abraham and Isaac. Remember when God told Abraham to take Isaac, his only son, and head out to a mountain to sacrifice him? Long story very short, Abraham set out with Isaac in tow, toward a mountain that God would show to him. The journey took three days. When Abraham saw the place, he left his servants and donkeys and took Isaac up to the top. God allowed Abraham to go so far as to tie up his only son and raise his knife  before He stopped him and provided a ram in the thicket. Here’s the point: If Abraham had continued to obey the instructions and revelation of God from three days before, he would have killed Isaac. If He was not continuing to seek God for his today-word, the story would have ended much differently.

So the question remains alive and burning in my heart – Am I living in history – of what God used to say or even said yesterday – or am I living in destiny – receiving today’s word and staying sensitive to His interruptions? My prayer is, and will continue to be, that I will hear the interruptions of the Holy Spirit so that I won’t “kill” what He wants to “keep”.

#5 – Remember why you do what you do.

Over the past 5 years as Worship Pastor at Pointe North, there have been incredibly high moments and incredibly low moments. I’ve waked with a spring in my step feeling like I could conquer the world one minute, and considered throwing in the towel on another occasion. But throughout those peaks and valleys, remembering why I do what I do always brings my head and heart to where they need to be. My pastor often says that there are some things in life for which we’ll never understand the reason…because reason fixates on an event…but if we go deeper and really seek the Lord, we can always find purpose. I feel like the last 5 years have taught me my purpose and that, despite the crazy things that I may never understand the reason for, keeps me coming back day after day. Here are some closing thoughts of why I do what I do -

• I love Jesus. He gives my life purpose and it’s to Him that I sing.
• I love people. These past few months have reminded me more than ever how precious the relationships are in my life. I have the most incredible team on the face of the planet! We’ve been together long enough to predict one another’s moves and eliminate the need for me to even give signals – That’s a good place to be.
• I love to see people connect with Jesus. There is nothing more rewarding than watching the moment happen – you know the one I’m talking about – where the Bride gets a glimpse of the Bridegroom and it takes her breath away! That’s good stuff right there.
• I love worship. Worship is the vehicle that takes us closer to Jesus. Reckless abandonment and relinquishing of pride all for the sake of my King – That’s really good stuff right there!
• I’m called to do it. At the end of the day, it’s really all about that. If I wasn’t called to do this, there’s no way I would have made it this far. It’s not man who called me – it’s the Lord – and He says His calling is without repentance. I’m so thankful for that!
• It’s obedience – not dutiful obedience – but joyful obedience. I heard a pastor say the other day that when we do something out of obligation, it gives birth to rebellion. I can honestly say that I do what I do, not out of obligation, but out of obedience and sheer joy. The minute I start doing this because I feel like I have to is the minute I should stop. I get to do this and I love it!

I realized that I never finished this series of blogs and I don’t want to not finish something I started, so here’s the next part -

#4 – Knowing how to recover from mistakes is a must…Knowing you’re doing too much recovering is vital.

If there’s one thing you can be sure of, it’s that you’re going to make mistakes. Some of my most horrific, most humiliating and most humorous ones have come right in the middle of a worship set. From throwing up on stage while pregnant to mixing up words like “It’s all about me” instead of “It’s all about You”, I’ve learned that a worship leader must be just as strong in recovering as he/she is leading!

I’ve heard people tell me that they appreciate the fact that I sometimes have a musical mishap because it reminds them that I’m human and really do make mistakes. I guess there’s something to be said for that, but I also have enough experience to know that if recovery is commonplace in my worship leading, it reeks of unpreparedness. Recently, I shared with our entire PNCC Worship Team that one of the biggest mistakes we can make is taking what we do too casually.  God was very specific in the Old Testament when it came to preparation for worship and handling His presence (the Ark of the Covenant). Today, because of Jesus, WE are modern-day “Arks of the Covenant” and we either “cart” or “carry” His presence. (See 2 Samuel 6 )

If recovery is more frequent than you’d like it to be, you may need to ask yourself some tough questions:

• Am I preparing well enough for the services? (studying and memorizing lyrics, practicing my instrument, etc.)
• Do I pray over the worship set and let God lead my song choices or am I choosing songs based on what I or my team enjoys?
• Am I practicing at home so we can rehearse together as a team?
• Do I check my “junk” at the door so I can walk on stage clean and focused?

Remember – Even when we do all of these things, there’s no guarantee that we won’t make mistakes. We’re human and our mouths are sometimes going to get ahead of or behind our minds! But when we realize that recovery has become more of a rule than an exception and make the necessary steps to change that, our leading will go to an entirely different level. We’ll find that we’ll recover quicker and easier and the people we’re leading will still press-in to encounter the Lord in worship….despite our blunders!

#3 – No one will be as passionate about worship leading as I am…and they’re not supposed to be.

Sometimes, our expectations of other people can really get us into trouble; especially in ministry. My Dad taught me a long time ago about dreams and visions, and how to go after the God-given scope of your life that the Holy Spirit has set on fire. From a young age, I took that teaching very seriously and developed a passion for worshiping Jesus and leading people into worship that superseded everything else in my life. So what’s the problem? Isn’t that a good thing since I am a worship pastor?  Absolutely. Having a passion for worship and worship leading only becomes a problem when we try to invoke our passion on everyone around us and expect them to feel the same way we do. Here’s what I had to learn: They’re not going to…and they’re not supposed to. 

If you are on staff (or volunteer) as a worship leader/pastor, the passion that you have is God-breathed and God-ordained; He gave it to YOU! He didn’t give the same passion to the youth pastor or the children’s pastor or the small groups pastor, or even the lead pastor; He gave it to YOU because this is your place in His body! The part of this that gets sticky is when we get our feelings hurt (Imagine that….a musician with hurt feelings!) or get offended because we’ve carved out a moment in the services that we’re “all about” and no one seems to care; or we work hard on a transition that gets pulled at the last minute because it doesn’t fit the flow; or we’re just getting to the best part of the song when the pastor walks up unexpectedly and leads the congregation in a different direction. Any of these sound familiar? If any of these scenarios have happened to you and you’ve not struggled in the least little bit, forgive me, but have you really ever led worship? or led anything, for that matter? Because if you have, you know that things are going to happen that don’t fit into your “box” of ideas and your plans, at some time or another, will be thwarted – whether by the Holy Spirit or by man. Because every single one of these circumstances, along with many others, has happened to me, here are a few mindsets I’ve learned to adopt over the past few years. Here’s hoping they help you…

• Your lead pastor is the TRUE worship leader in your church. While you may be more passionate about worship than he is, you must follow his lead and not try to make something happen that he doesn’t support. Get up under authority, stay covered, and you’ll stay blessed!
• Don’t put your expectations on people; you’ll get disappointed. I am blessed with the best worship team on the planet (I may be a little biased!) but not one of them eats, drinks, sleeps and breathes this thing like I do; none of them plan and plot toward encounters in worship all week long; none of them carries the weight of the music, services and the worship experience like I do. THEY’RE NOT SUPPOSED TO! Don’t get frustrated with people when you feel like they don’t “get it.” Chances are, you’re expecting way too much out of them.
• Be flexible. If you are a  worship leader worth your “salt”, you’ll be prayed-up when you step onto the platform and your number one prayer will be that the Holy Spirit has His way – even if that means skipping or changing something you worked hard on all week. 
• It’s not about you. I love this quote from renowned worship leader Glenn Packiam:                                                                                      “…The worship leader is not a priest who mediates on behalf of the people; he is a priest who stands among the                        congregation of priests, calling attention to God. He is, as a priest is, one of the people. He shares their bloodline,                     their heritage, their history. He knows their stories….”                                                                                              Worship leading is all about seeing the Bride connect with the Bridegroom and we, my friends, are mere facilitators of that    experience; nothing more, nothing less. 

Maybe we need to rethink the concept of our calling as worship leaders/pastors and thank the Lord for the passion He’s deposited into us. And at the same time, come to the revelation that what He’s deposited into us is for us as worship leaders/pastors, that His Kingdom may come and His will may be done.

#2  - I am responsible for my own spiritual growth.

This is a BIG lesson for all associate pastors to learn – worship pastors, youth pastors, children’s pastors, etc. Having been raised in the church all my life, I often got caught up in thinking that it was my pastor’s job to feed me; my pastor’s job to grow me; my pastor’s job to see to it that I stayed “fat and happy.” Over the past five years, I’ve realized that the responsibility of growth lies with one person, and one person alone: ME. We never find in Scripture that our “fearless leaders” are supposed to spoon-feed us; instead, they are supposed to equip us for the “works of the ministry.” So what, exactly, does this mean? Here are a few truths I’ve had to learn….most of them the hard way:

• There are a lot of things my pastor and my team can “cover” me on, but spending my personal time with God is NOT one of them. And don’t fool yourself; people know when you’ve been with the Lord and when you haven’t. Your talent and past experience can only take you so far…
• Self-leadership is a necessity. I’ve trained myself to search for resources on my own; not wait around for someone to hand me a good book. In this age of information, a lack of self-leadership is inexcusable.
• If you find yourself constantly looking for compliments and kudos from those above you, you’re on your way to burnout….fast. My pastor is a wonderful, Holy Spirit-filled man, but he will tell you himself that encouragement is not high on his list of spiritual gifts! While this was a big adjustment for me (having been raised in the most affirming environment on the planet), I learned quickly that I find my significance, my identity and my security in Christ and Christ alone. If my aim is to please Jesus and make Him proud, I will inevitably please my leadership.
• Church and ministry work DO NOT replace my time with the Lord. This is really tough, believe it or not. When you’ve worked at the church all day with “God’s people” doing “God’s work” and talking about God all day long, it’s easy to excuse your way out of just being with Him. As my roommate in college once told me, “Never let the urgent rob you of the important.” While you may deal with ministry emergencies and urgent issues on a daily basis, the most important thing you can do is follow Ephesians 5:18 – “Be filled with the Spirit.” (Translation: “Be [being; continually] filled with the Spirit.”)

Please remember that these are all truths that I’ve had to learn by experience. There have been many times that it would have been easy to cast blame for my stagnation or excuse it away. But when it comes down to it, if I’m not growing, I’m dying, and there’s no one to blame except the one looking back at me in the mirror every morning….no matter how good she’s always been at “passing the buck.”

This past weekend, Pointe North Community Church celebrated its 5th anniversary. It was an amazing few days as we reflected on God’s faithfulness to us. But we didn’t stop there; as Cal taught us, we can’t freeze this time and be content to live in the “Kodak moments” of life – We MUST push forward.

With that in mind, I thought I’d write over the next few blogs about the top five things I’ve learned as a Worship Pastor in the last 5 years, since the conception of Pointe North. If you’re a worship pastor/leader, lead pastor or staff pastor of any sort, maybe this will help you in your pursuit of excellence in ministry. Here goes -

#1:  A healthy Lead Pastor / Worship Pastor relationship is VITAL to the overall health  of the church.

 Unfortunately, this is one of the most difficult relationships to both cultivate and maintain, often because both worship pastors and lead pastors are “Type A”, driven personalities. And the relationship is even more difficult if your lead pastor is male and your worship pastor is female. But one thing I’ve learned over the past 5 years is that this relationship is worth fighting for. There have been numerous times that my pastor and I have not seen eye to eye on an issue, but when it comes down to it, he is the man God chose to lead this church and he has the right, at any time, to exert what I like to call “pastoral prerogative.” The key is that, when he does, (and he will!), don’t take things personally. You have to remember that he is carrying the weight of the entire church on his shoulders and when it comes down to it, you either trust him or your don’t. Here are a few things I’ve learned to do to cultivate and maintain this vital relationship:

• Pray for your pastor. A lot. All the time. With passion. Pray and pray some more. You’ll become more sensitive to his leading as well as the Holy Spirit’s leading when you do.                          
• Stay away from critical conversations. This is often difficult because worship pastors are generally “people-people” and are easy to talk to. But whatever you have to do, avoid criticism of your pastor. God has been dealing with me lately about learning how to “call a foul” and stop a conversation in its tracks. 
• Communicate, communicate, communicate. Keeping your pastor in the loop of what’s happening when it comes to creativity, worship, services, etc. will benefit your relationship more than you could ever imagine.
• Commit to being his partner and not his project. This is a phrase I picked up at a worship conference I attended earlier in the year, and it has been the driving force behind many of my decisions. A lead pastor needs someone who will partner with him to see his God-given vision accomplished. He has enough projects; he doesn’t need another one.

There is a very fine line between pride and insecurity when it comes to the lead pastor / worship pastor relationship, and it’s important to walk it. Pride will bring a fall every time (I remember reading that somewhere…) and insecurity will drive your pastor nuts. If he’s keeping you around, there’s a reason, so operate in that confidence. It’s our job to keep his arms lifted up and to do that, we have to know when he’s tired. Show me a healthy lead pastor/worship pastor relationship, and I’ll show you a healthy church.

Check these links out…My brother, Ryan, is back in the studio working on his new project. I can’t WAIT for it to come out! These sites have video logs of his last 3 days in the studio. I’m LOVING “December 26″…Let me know what you think!

December 26 – Ryan Edgar

Ryan’s MySpace

On May 14, we celebrated Hunley’s 5th birthday. It was quite an event! He was so excited about turning 5 because he knew he would be ready for K5, so when he woke up the morning of his birthday, he thought he was going to school that day! He was really bummed when we told him that the present school year hadn’t yet ended and he would have to wait until the Summer was over! However, we did have to make a trip to St. John’s for him to take his K5 test and that is where I discovered that David Albert Kinard spit David Hunley Kinard right out of his mouth! Here’s what happened…

When we arrived at SJCA for the test, we ended up waiting for over a half an hour for two kids to arrive. Their mom had lost her keys that morning and called to say she was going to be late. No one really minded because we all have had that experience, so the two K5 teachers decided to make the best of it. In the students went to one of the classrooms and Mrs. Tucker had all the kids sit on the red stripe of her area rug. She began to chit-chat with them about summer and swimming and if they were excited about school starting and recess and lunch and well…you get the idea. I intently watched Hunley because he’s usually not one for chit-chat. He did really well and I was so proud! Finally, the other kids arrived and out went the moms and dads. After the test, I received a call from one of the teachers letting me know that Hunley had done well and that they were confident that he was ready for kindergarten. I was excited so I shared the good news with Hunley. He looked at me and said, “Ok, Mom, but…Mom?”  ”Yes?” I answered. “Mom – You know when we were in that classroom and we had to sit on the red stripe and the teacher was asking us all those questions?” “Yes,” I replied. “Well, Mom, I was getting tired of it!” About this time, Allie Grace chimed in to remind Hunley that they were talking about fun things and he shouldn’t have been tired. (My queen of small-talk!) Hunley ignored Allie Grace, looked straight at me and said, “I just wanted to take the test, Mom.”  Yes….He is his father’s son. 

This is the “let’s-get-down-to-business” attitude of Hunley…

Allie Grace is my six-year old Princess. Ever since she was a little girl, Allie Grace has been sensitive to the Lord. Maybe this had something to do with her infatuation with Bob the Tomato from Veggie Tales! After all, her first word was “Bob!” Anyway - She loved to sing worship songs when she was a toddler, and as she grew, she fell in love with prayer. I began to teach her early to stop everything and pray when we heard a siren – an ambulance, fire truck, or police cruiser – and we’d pray together for safety and wisdom. Allie Grace was always very adamant about hearing from the Lord and would often tell me exactly what Jesus was saying. Here is a classic example -

When Allie Grace was 4, she began to tell people in our church that her “Mommy was having another baby.” I wasn’t even pregnant!! People were congratulating me and asking me when I was due, and I started to get offended! David and I knew we wanted another baby, but were planning to wait another year to get pregnant. Little did I know that I was already pregnant! Imagine the shock when I discovered that my then-4-year old was a little prophetess! When I told her I was having another baby, she smiled and said, “I know, Mommy. You’re having a sister! Jesus told me!” As much as David and I tried to prepare her that the baby in Mommy’s belly could be another brother, she wouldn’t have it. When we found out that we were having a “Raley Elizabeth” we couldn’t wait to tell Allie Grace! I’ll never forget her reaction – She looked at me, looked at David, looked back at me, shrugged her shoulders and said, “I told you!” 

This is the faith of Allie Grace…

My 2-year old daughter, Raley, has ZERO confidence issues. She’s such a cutie pie and makes me laugh often. This past weekend she proved just how confident she is in a conversation at the dinner table. Here’s how it went -

We’re sitting at the dinner table eating and a fly zoomed past my head. I HATE flies and my family knows it so Raley said to me, “Mommy – there’s a ‘fwy’ – you need to smat it.” I said, “You’re right.” So I got up, pulled the fly swatter down from on top of the refrigerator and pursued to take out all my violent urges on one small fly. He fought a good fight but I won. Upon the fly’s death, I threw my hands in the air to celebrate my victory. Raley smiled and said, “Mommy, you did good. You did REAL good with that ’smy fattuh’.” I stopped, shook my head in confusion not being convinced I heard her right, and said, “What?” Raley proceeded to repeat herself – “You did REAL good with that ’smy fattuh’.” I realized what she was saying and smiled. But I HAD to hear it one more time so I said, “Say it again, Bugaboo. What is this?” as I held up the fly swatter. To which my extremely self-confident 2-year old replied, “Mommy. Mommy – say, ’smy’.” I said, “smy.” And she said, “fattuh.” I said, “fattuh.” Raley smiled at me and said, “Smy fattuh!” 

This is the confidence of Raley Elizabeth….